Heath Franklin's Chopper - Not Here to F#ck Spiders - 18/10/24

Heath Franklin’s Chopper is back on stage, and this time, he's fed up with just about everything modern life has to offer. From ADHD to e-scooters, Franklin, in character as the iconic Aussie outlaw, delivers a hilarious, no-holds-barred critique of contemporary society, leaving the audience in fits of laughter as he skewers everything in his path.

One of the running themes throughout the show is Chopper’s absolute inability to understand or care about things like ADHD. “Back in my day, if you couldn’t pay attention, you’d get a clip around the ears!” he barks, his signature moustache twitching with disdain. In typical Chopper fashion, he also mocks the latest health trends, roasting the "sober curious" crowd for ordering non-alcoholic drinks.

Chopper’s hit list continues as he targets young people for their lack of work ethic, the laziness of UberEats and how the standard of masculinity has changed from once driving a souped-up car to today’s e-scooters. He pokes fun at cyclists in lycra and vegans, painting a picture of a world that’s gone soft—no one is safe from Chopper’s verbal jabs.

Franklin’s Chopper even turns his sights to tech companies, calling them “parasites” that sell personal data to the highest bidder. His rant on modern privacy invasions hits home, with the audience nodding along as he humorously exposes how little control we have over our information. He isn’t above taking shots at language either, ridiculing modern terms like “unhoused” and “unalived” for their ridiculousness. “Just say dead! They’re not coming back.”

One of the best moments of the show is Chopper's roasting of Anthony Kiedis from Red Hot Chili Peppers, especially his notoriously nonsensical lyrics from By The Way. Franklin’s delivery is pitch-perfect, as he lambasts the musical legend and calls him out for crappy lyrics.

Throughout the show, Chopper honed in on one unfortunate audience member, 18-year-old Cameron, who became the butt of several jokes and the crowd loved how Franklin used this banter to land even harder punches on modern youth culture. The show is a cathartic and wildly entertaining rant against the absurdities of modern life.