Vanessa Larry Mitchell - Teardrops on My Dildo: The Endurance Edition@ Selwyn Nichols Brewing Co - 14th Aug 2026

This was my third time seeing Vanessa Larry Mitchell perform, and if anything, Teardrops on My Dildo: The Endurance Edition proved that she has only become sharper, filthier and more assured with every tour. Combining material from both of her touring shows into one mammoth evening of comedy, Mitchell delivered nearly two hours of unapologetic, no-holds-barred stand-up that had the Selwyn Nichols Brewing Co audience roaring from start to finish.

The brewery's staff had done a terrific job creating an intimate and inviting performance space, giving Mitchell the perfect platform to settle in and do what she does best. She quickly warmed to the crowd, expressing her appreciation for the wine drinkers in attendance despite finding herself surrounded by craft beer taps. It was a fitting opening for a comedian whose greatest strength is her ability to make every audience feel like they're sitting around exchanging stories with an outrageously funny friend.

Much of Mitchell's comedy stems from her observations about everyday life and the absurdity of modern Australia. She lamented the current state of affairs, took aim at One Nation, and reflected on how her mother remains horrified by her comedy career while her father continues to be her biggest cheerleader. Her distinctive Lismore twang felt right at home in North Queensland, and she delighted the crowd by poking fun at regional Australian language quirks, particularly the Tamworth habit of mispronouncing words like "pacifically" and "arks".

Relationships formed a major theme throughout the evening. Marriage, according to Mitchell, should function less like a lifelong commitment and more like a rental agreement or contract that can be periodically reviewed. Her stories about online dating apps highlighted the minefield of modern romance, from awkward encounters to the surprisingly crucial role of punctuation. One misplaced comma, she argued, can entirely change the meaning of a message and potentially derail a budding romance.

Mitchell's frank discussions of women's health and sexuality were among the night's strongest segments. Her account of getting an IUD inserted and her overwhelming fear of pregnancy generated some of the evening's loudest laughs, particularly her description of a gynaecologist wearing a head torch as though he were searching behind the couch for a lost television remote. Her comparisons between dating men and women were equally hilarious, contrasting the perceived advantages of same-sex relationships with the all-too-familiar scourge of unsolicited dick pics.

Nostalgia also featured prominently as Mitchell reflected on the supposed glory days of being in your twenties, before bills, responsibilities and bodily betrayals begin to accumulate. Even audience participation became fair game as she introduced a "Truth or Dare" challenge, confidently assuring everyone that she would emerge victorious every single time.

After a brief intermission, Mitchell returned for Lube Me Alone, a second act that somehow managed to push the envelope even further. Clearly refreshed and well-oiled for round two, she launched straight into a fresh barrage of outrageous stories and observations.

The second half revelled in escalating absurdity. A seemingly innocent game of Monopoly descended into chaos as Mitchell recounted the increasingly absurd measures she'd take to stave off bankruptcy. Family stories returned when Mitchell recounted a racist grandmother whose prejudices were supposedly cured by a head injury, while another routine dismantled the hyper-organised world of Book Week mums, a social circle she openly admitted she would never qualify to join.

No demographic escaped scrutiny. Mitchell's disdain for hairdresser head massages proved surprisingly relatable, as did her observations on addictive personalities. Her account of giving up smoking was delivered with characteristic exaggeration, likening it to being more difficult than quitting heroin before somehow incorporating a story about hitting a junkie with her car. The uncomfortable realities of workplace toilet visits also became comedy gold in Mitchell's hands, transforming an experience most people avoid discussing into one of the evening's most universally relatable segments.

As the show neared its conclusion, Mitchell touched on her "opportunistic sexuality," a category she insisted should have been included on the most recent national census. By this stage, the audience was completely won over. When she sculled the remainder of her drink before the final curtain, the gesture was met with thunderous cheers and enthusiastic applause.

The evening ended with a glance at some of Mitchell's delightfully "classy" merchandise, providing a fitting final touch to a show that never pretended to be anything other than what it was: bold, crude, fearless and exceptionally funny. Mitchell possesses a rare ability to transform life's awkward, embarrassing and deeply personal moments into comedy that feels both outrageous and strangely familiar. Teardrops on My Dildo: The Endurance Edition is certainly not for the easily offended, but for those willing to embrace the chaos, it delivers two hours of relentless laughter from one of Australia's most distinctive comedic voices.